SYSTEMIC FAMILY CONSTELLATIONS
"What happens and is sustained through love can only be resolved through love." Bert Hellinger
WHAT ARE SYSTEMIC FAMILY CONSTELLATIONS
Systemic Constellation Work is a powerful, solution-focused process which can be applied to individuals, couples and families as well as to businesses and organisations. It addresses the underlying, often subconscious dynamics that govern us, our families and all the social groups we are a part of. In Systemic Constellations we can see, feel and experience how these dynamics shape us and how we’re connected by deep bonds of loyalty and love. Through Constellation Work these bonds can become forces for a greater sense of belonging, natural order and balance.
Traditionally Systemic Constellations are applied in the context of a group workshop, however the implications and insights revealed through this approach have proven to be so universal, essential, tangible and immediately applicable that it informs many aspects of my approach in individual and couple contexts.
THE KNOWING FIELD
At the heart of Systemic Family Constellations (SFC) we look at individuals and their problems, struggles and illnesses as an expression of something which isn’t solely insular and therefore can’t be resolved in isolation. Furthermore, it sees family members as part of a family system, or in the particular terminology we use in SFC, as part of a family field. These fields are not just unique to families but can also be observed in other social groups like organisations, political or religious groups, even nations. They work like an underlying, embedding fabric through which we are connected with our social groups and relate in space but also through time. These fields hold important information which through SFC becomes accessible. In SFC it is referred to as “the knowing field”. Far from being new-age or esoteric, its profundity is immediate. The information it generates is a very precise representation not of what we think is, but of what really is. This has been confirmed in over 30 years of hundreds of thousands of constellations worldwide.
What is revealed is how we are all connected by deep bonds of hidden loyalty and love. However these bonds of loyalty and love can also entangle and burden us. Where members of our family are excluded, the systemic order is violated or the balance of giving and taking is not kept, the family field responds, sometimes even “skipping” a generation in between. Often younger members of a family ie. children or grandchildren subconsciously then seem to bring balance back to the family system out of blind love. Often this can be a deeper reason for people not embracing life, repeating dysfunctional relationship patterns, sub-conscious self-sabotage or suffering from a whole number of mental health conditions or even serious illnesses, often ones which don’t seem to respond to traditional medical treatments.
SFC sheds light on these hidden dynamics and provides a clear and experiential pathway to re-integrate hidden and excluded aspects of ourselves, our family or any system we choose to observe, honour the given systemic order and bring a clearer sense of natural balance.
SFC HAS PROVEN TO BE HELPFUL WITH THE FOLLOWING ISSUES:
Clarifying, resolving and integrating personal or family-related issues
recurring (dysfunctional) family themesanxieties, depression, panic attacks an other problematic mental conditions
many forms of unresolved trauma including sexual abuse and physical violence
adoption issues and other forms of abandonment
supporting questions of personal direction and growth
removing compulsive thoughts and self-weakening beliefs
irrational thought patterns
re-connecting with self-esteem and self-confidence
removing internal obstacles and blocks
relationship and marriage difficulties
separation and divorce themes
unresolved (complicated) grief and loss
psychosomatic illness and "unexplainable" illness
prolonged feelings of guilt and resentment
eating disorders
conflict resolution
decision-making processes
work related issues
and much more
HOW DO SYSTEMIC CONSTELLATIONS WORK?
Traditionally SFC is a group activity where people come together for a day or a weekend workshop and support each other by working on their issues. However this process is also successfully applicable in individual psychological therapy and couples setting. Although SFC addresses family or system related issues no one of the relevant members apart from the client needs to be present for the process to work!
The format in a group setting involves a particular therapeutic format and process in which a client sets up elements of their issue represented by other group participants. This always includes a focus, representing the client and their request and, depending on the given issue, relevant family members, (former) partners, work colleagues but also abstract elements like values and goals or personal aspects like illnesses, beliefs or elements of a decision. They are then positioned in the room according to the client’s inner feeling.
AN OUTER REPRESENTATION OF AN INNER IMAGE
This outer representation of a previously (sub-conscious) inner image, its spatial arrangement and direction of the representatives serves as a starting point from where the constellation develops over a number of transitional steps. These may include spatial shifts, the addition of missing elements/persons and specific therapeutic rituals.
“REPRESENTATIVE PERCEPTION”
This and the feedback of the representatives about their direct perceptions brings light into hidden (family and system) dynamics, points towards excluded family members or otherwise important often unrecognised elements. Representatives are not in any way interpreting, but simply reporting on what they feel physically and/or emotionally in relation to themselves and other representatives. The precision of feedback, of the “representative perception”, has proven to be highly precise. It is this unfolding and changing in front of the client’s eyes, which invokes an often highly emotive and clarifying process which not seldom produces epiphanies or catalyses long necessary inner emotional movements of reconciliation and completion or produces clarifying insights.
THE SOLUTION IMAGE
Eventually, when the constellation process approaches a solution, the client steps into his own “new” constellation and can experience this new found solution image from within the constellation, before it is “folded in” again and can be taken by the client to unfold it’s effect in the clients life.
Throughout the process the facilitator’s role is to recognize hidden dynamics, catalyse possible shifts and utilize the information generated by the unfolding constellation, to guide the representatives towards an alternative “solution image”.
A constellation takes between 20 and 90 minutes, depending on the theme and the amount of participating representatives. Subsequent work in individual or couples setting is also an option.
INDIVIDUAL PSYCHOTHERAPY AND COUPLES COUNSELLING
The principles of SFC can also be very successfully applied in individual therapy and couples counselling. Here we work with floor anchors, figures, genograms (family tree) and what I call inner constellations. Furthermore the insight and understanding provided by SFC greatly enhances and enriches the understanding of more traditional therapeutic approaches so that an implementation into individual and couples therapy is seamless. For some people who are apprehensive to attend a group or where time restrictions prevent them from dedicating a whole weekend this can be a very valid option. Often people might also consider joining a group after they have taken a few steps on their individual journey. Such an experience for some people can provide an additional significant step which often can seal a self-empowering process.
DO I HAVE TO PREPARE MYSELF FOR A SFC?
It is not necessary to have any prior knowledge about SFC to gain something valuable from setting up an issue in a group or in one-to-one context. However, some people find it helpful to get an idea about their family in terms of who in systemical terms does and doesn’t belong to it.
To the family of origin belongs:
the parents and their siblings, also the deceased ones
all your siblings, including stillborn babies and babies/children who died young
terminated children
the grandparents and sometimes even the great-grand paren
Current family:
current partners and their family of origin including all points above
children, also the ones passed away and stillborn children, also from earlier marriages
or relationshipsterminated children
adopted children and their biological parents
Besides relatives, people who have a highly meaningful connection to a member of our family system also belong. This refers to previous significant partners and their parents and grandparents but also to victims who have suffered through the actions of a family member and perpetrators who have caused suffering for a family member.
Often of special relevance are specific events or conditions which occurred in the family system. This concerns (not a comprehensive list):
a child who died early
a mother who died in childbirth
a stillborn child
miscarriages (in a well established pregnancy)
terminations of pregnancy
giving away of a child
adoption of a child
a family member died in war
a family member is/was traumatized
family members experienced deportation or exile
a family member was a victim of homicide
sexual abuse
family secrets
disabilities
a family member had a severe, life threatening sickness
genetic diseases
chronic diseases
a family member committed suicide
a family member carries a burden of guilt
former partners who are not honored or had a difficult fate
What are the various options for attending a Systemic Family or Structural Constellation?
Attend a workshop currently being offered. Or: if you don't want to attend a group we can work as well in a couple or individual context. Here we we use symbols or figures for the constellation process. Constellation work is applied as an integrated tool in the counselling process to access, process, solve and integrate your individual issues.
In all of these processes you might also learn how you can use this tool quite naturally to enhance your own problem-solving capabilities and your natural sense of well-being.
You can find more information, articles and videos regarding Systemic Family Constellations on our Facebook page which you are invited to visit, like and share HERE!
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TESTIMONIALS
"I just wanted to say thank you for allowing me to be part of something that would finally give me the opportunity to fully understand and clarify the situation that has so deeply impacted my life. It all makes sense to me now...It has definitely been a journey!...I will be forever grateful." Anne
“I have been waiting a bit before writing some feedbacks. I took part in the last family constellation in October. And it was amazing ... Mind opening...! I can feel, 1 month later, that what I've been working on is still in process. But what a relief! It feels like I am a bit closer to my truth now, that I understand a bit more the humankind, that I’m part of this big everything and that we are all helping each other and linked together. The result of this family constellation for me is that the situation I wanted to "fix" is much, much better, because I've understood now my anger, my behaviour... Not only for this specific situation but for my whole life. I definitely recommend this workshop with the humble and talented Beant. Thank you, and thank you to everybody present for the workshop!” Marion
"I attended the weekend workshop for Systemic Family Constellation therapy facilitated by Beant Peter Hergo. I had no understanding or expectation of what the therapy entailed and would bring. This therapy seems to be based on a number of simple but deeply profound truths in regards to relationships which lead to my understanding on the cause for negative experiences of many of my own relationships. Simply understanding helps significantly but this workshop also gave me the unique opportunity to work through some of my own deeply personal issues in such a moving and respectful way. This therapy is uniquely powerful because it bypasses the intellectualization of the issue and goes straight to healing through connecting with the emotional experience itself. Truly amazing and highly recommended." Natalie
“After just completing my first Family Constellation workshop I would like to share a few words about my experience. Firstly, this process is an amazing glimpse into the richness of human emotion and experience. I was blown away by the common threads of people's lives and also the trust and safety that existed amongst the group. Secondly, the skill and insight of Beant as the facilitator was brilliant to watch. He helped to dig and explore in the right directions whilst always keeping participants safe. Lastly, my own experience was twofold - watching and being part of other people's constellations was energising and promoted discussions as my fiancé and I found commonalities to our own situations. Doing my own constellation on the second day was, at first, the hardest thing I've ever done. However, it was also a powerful, emotional and liberating experience. The actual process is hard to explain - you have to be there and just take part in an open way. But I must say it is an amazingly beautiful thing to watch as people take on the energies and feelings of the people in your constellation with such precise knowledge and emotions. It has truly been a magical and healing process and I thank Beant for his tireless and inspirational work.” Tyson
"For me this was the first workshop in Family Constellation Work. I had no idea what to expect so I was not just incredibly nervous but also a bit afraid of what might happen... What the constellation gave rise to in my case is unbelievable. How incredibly close to the truth the constellation worked was very surprising to me. It set in motion a wave of movement in me and I am much more conscious of how heavy the burden was that I have carried for my parents. Since I gave it back to them in the constellation I can say YES to my future... a lot has happened since then..." Jacky
"I found the workshop to be very powerful indeed. My family is very challenging and the workshop shifted me from the position I had adopted of "victim" to feeling stronger and much more empowered. Beant is a very skillful and insightful facilitator and I highly recommend him. He is compassionate, caring but keeps the clients focused. Sincedoing the workshop my life just seems to be much more effective and I feel like my heart has opened." Jane
"The idea of sharing my fears and problems with complete strangers seemed very daunting at first. It turned out that these 'strangers' were incredibly compassionate and skilful by helping me through my constellation and I learned a lot in participating in their journey. The results are instant and profound - I feel positive and at peace." Judy
“The workshops created a space for me in which I was able to see my challenges from a number of different view points which then in turn, gave me a clearer understanding of what I was holding onto and how it wasn't necessary to do so. The environment is super friendly and feels very safe even when dealing with strong emotions.
I was able to clear and let go of perceptions that were causing blocks. I have also noticed that there is an ongoing unveiling of the work that is still unfolding in very unexpected by fabulous ways in my life.” Greta
“…to realize how much emotional baggage I carried around with me for the last 30 years, to be able to give it back to my parents and to experience how they took it back happily was a life defining moment for me. Since then I have felt tonnes lighter.” Jeff
“What was said in the constellation was exactly what I needed to hear. This was a great boost for my confidence. Thank you.” Yvonne
“The day after the constellation I sat down and wrote a letter to my father and while I was writing the telephone rang. It was him. For the first time in 14 years we spoke again. I feel we can talk now. I’m completely amazed.” Suzanne
“I’m amazed how precisely the representatives reflected what was going on in my family. It was almost like my mother spoke to me in person. I got so much off my chest…I don’t know how it worked, but it worked. I feel much better now.” Doreen
“In the constellation, I worked on a belief about myself which weakened me. Afterwards I couldn’t even remember it anymore. Instead I had a good laugh and felt great.” Greg
“When I turned around and connected myself with my female blood-line, I got goose bumps all over. …Now I’m much more aware of my power as a woman.” Catherine